princess_of_ida | IC Inbox

I hope they're alright.

[ alina looks up at ianthe as she finishes, eyes soft. nervous. if the warding is done, that means it's time for the rest. there are things to warn ianthe about. ]

About the amplifier. There's a reason we only have Durasts do this. Because it's their power, yes, but no physician could set an amplifier to bone.

It's going to connect to my power. That's a lot of energy. Thalergy, I think you called it. [ she folds her hands in her lap. ] If a Grisha amplifier is removed, the Grisha won't survive the explosion it creates. I think the same thing applies to if putting one on goes wrong.

So just ... be careful.

Mhmm. The sudden release of all thalergy or thanergy at once creates-- Yeah, I don't need to repeat what you just said in necro-speak. I'm aware of the risks and...

[She sighed, kneeling down next to Alina and setting the bones down on the bedroll so she could take Alina's face in her hands, gently running her thumbs over her cheekbones.]

I've done something very similar before. I'll tell you about it afterward, if all goes well. Now, top off and lay back. I need full access to your clavicles.

[ alina's expression softens as ianthe touches her face. allowing the gesture to reassure her, to soothe her. she lifts one hand to cover ianthe's bone hand.

then she drops her hand, draws back a little, and starts to pull her dress up over her head. ]

This is one of the more creative excuses I've heard to get me naked. [ it helps her, making the joke. dispels some of her nerves. ]

What can I say? You have nice tits.

[Ianthe was just going to help get that dress off and folded up to be used as a pillow. She then crafted a couple inches of ligament and wrapped it in some fabric torn from her own shirt.]

You're going to want to bite down on this. I know you don't want to be hurt, least of all by me again, but this is going to hurt. I'll numb some of it, but this isn't just sticking bone to bone. I'm going to split and wrap the amplifier around your bone and, depending on how I navigate the whole power alignment, might need to connect them via marrow. If I didn't need your feedback, I'd offer to anesthetize you. So, sorry in advance.

[ if she looked uneasy before, it's really setting in now. haggard, wary, she exhales deeply and nods. ]

Great. Sounds fun.

[ she takes the makeshift gag from ianthe and, grimacing, puts it into her mouth. then she lies back on the dress-pillow and shifts her shoulders, trying the impossible task of getting comfortable while anticipating pain. ]

It's just the price that needs be paid.

[Ianthe gathered her hair up and twisted it around, tying it with itself so it wouldn't get in her way. She then settled down to Alina's side. She ran both hands along Alina's clavicle, mapping the bone and ligaments, taking in the anatomy as she could really only do through touch. As she did, a cool sensation filtered across the area as one by one, she impaired the nerves starting with the skin and moving deeper into the muscle tissue.]

We'll do one side and then the other. For balance. Try to lay still.

[Splitting the skin and muscle from SC to AC joint was easy, the tissue parting to the bone cleaner and better than any blade could. Blood welled up, but Ianthe halted that with a wave of her hand, exposing the white bone of the clavicle. Fingers dipping inside the long incision, she widened it and then took a slow breath.

This next part was the one that was going to hurt the most, as she curled her fingers around the bone, flesh magic at her fingertips moving the tissue, blood vessels, and nerves aside so Ianthe could get the thoracic outlet clear - truly creating a hollow between clavicle and first rib so she could wrap the bone around. She swallowed as she narrowed her focus, feeling Alina's thalergy so much more intensely now that she had her hands inside the sun summoner.

Her eyes flickered up to check on Alina as she reached for the first of the amplifier bones. Just in case there was a conductive charge about to be passed between Alina and the amplifier while Ianthe had a hand on both, she braced herself and murmured more to herself than Alina.]

First, preserve the source with memory intact. [Already done as bone was peak storage material.] Step two, analyze it - understand it's structure and shape. [The magic inside the bone, the way it was layered, and the essence of the bone itself.]

[ the pain is immense — worse, really, for having no clear cause, for being cleaved open by nothing. there is no distraction of a source. just the pain, and alina's efforts to hold herself back from pushing ianthe away to stop it.

she bites down into the cloth. grabs against ianthe's knee, fingers digging in. the cloth muffles a pained noise, a low grunting of sorts.

the pain draws out her power, too. a crackling white-blue light that forms like a cloud of electricity around them, swallowing ianthe with her. ]

[Fuck, that's bright. Ianthe had to close her eyes and work with her lyctor senses alone for a few seconds while her eyes recovered. She set the theorem to hold Alina's flesh and sinew in place so she need not have a hand inside her chest continually.]

Step three... remove and absorb it.

[She took the amplifier bone and, now with healed eyes back on it, held it in the middle with both hands. Slowly, she drew them outward to each end, the bone splitting in half lengthwise as she did to expose the marrow. A containment field of thanergy encapsulating the bone prevented any of the precious marrow from being lost. Ianthe flattened it to a thin sheet of osseous material, spreading the marrow along the inside. Malleable now, she carefully threaded the amplifier around Alina's clavicle but kept it from making contact until she had it in place and just needed to compress it down.

She paused, looking over the flow of thalergy within and without Alina and how that which the amplifier stored was reaching out. Oh, the feedback Ianthe was about to feel was going to be painful. She used her hands to press the amplifier to Alina's bone, threading amplifier bone and summoner bone together through the layer of marrow, stitch by necromantic stitch.

please don't fight me sun thalergy don't reject it]

[ the moment it connects with her skin, the glow booms brighter. it swallows the trees around them. the forest floor sees daylight for the first time, scintillating and clear. it is soft enough that it's not quite blinding, but only just this side of it. spiders and squirrels and worms alike burrow away from the sudden surge of light. the forest seems to breathe, suddenly, stirred awake by the glow.

but something is wrong.

alina howls. it's nothing like the grunt of pain before. this agony is like nothing she's felt before, completely unlike when aleksander actually amplified her. this is power that is not hers. this is power stolen. her very marrow burns, starting at the point where the bone is fusing to her and spreading outward from there.

she can't stop herself from reaching up, grabbing ianthe's wrists. tears roll down her cheeks, but she can't close her eyes. they are wide with pain, white around the edges and glowing from behind, just like her skin is. incandescent. a golden flame barely contained.

but the magic has already begun to take hold. there's no turning back from here. even without ianthe's hand in it, the bone is redistributing. alina's bone and aleksander's alike melting together and splintering. the second bone sinks into her clavicle too, right past her skin as her body soaks up the power, swallowing it. ]

[Unbidden and unnoticed, a bloody tear slipped from each of Ianthe's eyes to track down her cheeks as Alina was wracked with pain. The lyctor knew this pain well and couldn't help but feel some of it again, actually flinching when her wrists were grabbed. This... this was what happened when one commits indelible sin and ascends to become something more.

Except Alina wasn't there yet. Step four was fixing it in place, but the bones were doing that on their own, aligning the thalergy as needed for efficiency. Good thing, too, as that was the aspect of the Eightfold Word Ianthe was the weakest with. But the problem was the next step: incorporate it.]

Breathe. Don't let it overwhelm you. Make it part of you; you are its master. I can't help you with this part, baby.

[Except maybe she could, as she watched the other bone come very close to defying necromantic logic as it seemingly fused itself. Pulling her bone hand free of Alina's grasp, she stuck her fingers back inside and managed to scrape a tiny bit of amplifier marrow before it all burned. She shoved the digit into Alina's mouth. Step six: consume the flesh.]

This should ground you.

Edited 2023-10-01 07:13 (UTC)

[ it feels like dying. when ianthe's finger forces its way into her mouth, it tastes like ash and death too. like she can sense the aleksander's life was snuffed out, that she had done it, like it's now a part of her that's snuffed out too.

she fights to pull ianthe's hand out of her mouth, frantic, urgent, desperate to spare her the pain as alina bites down, gritting her teeth against the pain again, trying to withstand it, to survive it just a little longer.

the pain dims a little, manageable, as alina's clavicle seals up, her power healing her as it always has. feeding on itself. her hair shinier, her skin smoother, her eyes brighter. but that wholeness lasts for only a moment. the pain grows worse, and alina looks down to realize why it feels like being stabbed — the bone grows out of her collarbone in cruel juts, long spikes curling like a crown of antlers around her neck.

she gasps, reels, a low and dreadful whine in the back of her throat. ]

Edited 2023-10-01 07:26 (UTC)

[Ianthe resisted Alina's attempt to remove the phalanges from her mouth until she felt the theorem that had been holding the flesh open about the clavicle unravel. That shouldn't happen; she was an animaphiliac. The things she could do with flesh--

That was unexpected. Step seven was reconstruction, but she hadn't thought that would manifest like this. Foolish, Ianthe... Foolish. It made sense, she realized. Ianthe had her cavalier's eyes marking her. Alina had her amplifier's bones doing the same. That left one last part: time to make sure the power cables were hooked up.

Ianthe ran her hands over the protrusions and down the healed skin, removing any of her own lingering theorems. Keeping a monitoring hand on one bone spike, she cupped Alina's face.]

Use the power. Make sure it works.

[ she doesn't want to. the last thing she's focused on right now is her power. her hand clumsily lifts to cover the bony prominences, exploring them, feeling for a way to push them back inside or pry them off. her hand shakes. ]

It's — Why is it like this? It's not supposed to be like this.

[ sputtering, panicked. how can she be a queen and a saint when she's disfigured herself with another grisha's bones? how will anyone look on her and feel anything but fear?

despite this, her power is still swelling out from her. brighter and bolder than before. crackling and alive, a little too alive. threads of that light rattle apart, turn sharp as knives and splinter some of the trees, severing branches with condensed blades made from light particles. ]

[Ianthe thought the bone spikes were kinda hot but her tastes never did really match up with anyone not of the Third. Even if Alina wanted them gone or shaved down, Ianthe could already tell that would either kill her or they'd just grow back. She was stuck with them for now. Maybe they'd incorporate in the future as Alina's body adjusted and accepted them, but maybe not.

What wasn't an uncertainty was that the amplifier was properly hooked up. Watching the light spark and surge, the very real possibility that Alina now possessed the means to kill Ianthe and make it stick was impossible to ignore. They were both in very real danger right then.]

Look at me; look in my eyes. You need to take control of your power before it kills us both. I know you can; you just have to do it. Please, Sunshine, focus and control it.

I can't. I ca— [ she reels, breath coming out in wheezes. she tries to steady herself on ianthe, tries to sit up, to push back against the weight of her own power, but it has the unwieldy inertia of some huge vessel. alina's chest squeezes tight with the effort of reining it in. ] Something's wrong. It's not ... It doesn't feel like mine anymore.

[ she's sputtering now, fearful. tears burning in the corners of her eyes. had it ever been hers? truth be told, it had never felt like it. she had discovered it so late that it was always some foreign thing. alina starkov, and the sun summoner. a duality that she could not reconcile.

the eerie glow is back, that alluring quality almost like a song that draws ianthe in, that both soothes and arouses. just as the bone had at her clavicle, feathers pierce through the skin of alina's back, springing forth intermittently like down stabbing out of a pillow. ]

I don't know what to do.

[ but as she says this, she listens. looks up into ianthe's face, her eyes. remembers their training sessions. the way that ianthe had probed at the weaknesses of that shield, and how alina had made the light breathe, how she had learned to make it harden, to call it more quickly.

to dismiss it just as soundly when it was better than shattering it.

she can hear her own breathing roaring in her ears. she presses her eyes shut, grip tightening on ianthe's shirt, and reaches deep into the well of her own chest to search for that feeling, to shake loose something that will cut off the light's source, that will quell it.

she doesn't want to be a monster. she doesn't want to be a monster.

it starts to fade. the light narrows first into a band, wobbling still like the rings of some far-off planet. cinching inward like a tightening rubber band. ]

[It was but it wasn't and it was going to take time to come to terms with. Ianthe at least had her ambition driving her to what she did, not the fear Alina had. It made accepting the price easier. It didn't change how much it hurt or how high on the power it had made her. Alina needed to own her choice, but Ianthe couldn't lead her any further down the path. They were at a junction where they'd either walk as equals or Alina would take the path Harrowhark had by rejecting it.

She wrapped her arms loosely about Alina, leaning down to rest their foreheads together once Alina closed her eyes. She recognized the allure, the magnetism, of the partial transformation and idly ran her fingers over the feathery pinions. Her own tension released a little as control over the light was taken.]

See, baby? I knew you could do it. It feels both wrong and right, I know, but it's yours now... Sankt Alina.

[ it feels wrong. worse than wrong, it feels like on some level, ianthe wanted this. she'd already told alina how it felt like alina was disgusted by her, rejected all the ways she wanted her. on some level, the grotesque nature of alina's amplifier must be a reassurance. that, she thought, must be what put ianthe at some kind of peace.

it's cruel to think that. it's cruel to project anything like that onto ianthe, who had only helped her, who had only done precisely what she asked and for some reason loved even these awful parts of alina. she knows this. but it is still her first thought.

she blames the amplifier. blames aleksander, and the piece of him that she has taken permanently inside of herself. blames him, too, for the little surge of satisfaction she feels still at the sound of sankta alina. at the power that tingles in her fingertips.

still. when the power finally dims, when she draws it all back inside of herself, she lets out a choked noise, a sob, and covers her mouth with both her hands. it feels like a bodily reaction more than anything. a physical need for release, not just a response to all her unpleasant thoughts. ]

[These things never go according to script. Ianthe had indeed wanted Alina to come into her own, but hadn't known if she had the will and ambition to do it. And in a way, she still wasn't sure if she did, but it was done. It couldn't be undone now. The price was paid.

The sob brought Ianthe out of her silent reverie basking in the monstrous glow. She lifted her head to look at Alina before giving her what may be the first look of real compassion she'd ever seen on Ianthe's face.]

It does get easier, with time. The pain lessens to a point where you don't notice it as much anymore. It stops feeling like it's going to suffocate you. Eventually, you get used to what you see in the mirror, how it feels, until you almost forget it used to be different.

At least, that's how it is for me. Still a work in progress.

[ she listens, but she doesn't really hear all of it. she can't. not right now. maybe later, when she reflects on this moment, it will sink in. but for now, she can only accept pieces. only begin to process, truly this time, that ianthe had made a similar sacrifice at some point. ]

I didn't kill him for this.

[ she says it like it means something. like it matters. her voice is raw and cracking and wet. ]

But he's going to want revenge. If I wasn't strong enough when he came back ... He's the only one here with this power. I had to do it. It's not me he would have hurt.

Edited 2023-10-01 09:08 (UTC)

[It doesn't matter. Intentions were meaningless in the end, just the impact. Alina didn't need to justify herself to Ianthe. She was going to have to do that to everyone else that saw the bone spikes and wanted to know what happened. But Ianthe was acutely aware that there was precisely jack shit she could say right then that would make things better. She pressed a kiss to Alina's temple.]

I know.

[Steady. Consistent. Sort of.

Ugh, she hated how the pain she felt in her own chest right then as she listened wasn't even her own.]

[ there's nothing else to say. not really. so alina just lets her forehead sink against ianthe's shoulder, lets her arms slip around her middle, and buries herself against her friend, waiting for the comfort to take, or for her tears to run out. ]

[Ianthe held Alina for a while, to give her some time to feel what she needed to feel, before bringing up the impending monster problem. She actually didn't want to draw attention to it, but this time it was farther along than the other.]

Hey, Sunshine? I'm sorry to bring this up, but you're transforming again. You have feathers.

Feathers?

[ she straightens. looks down at herself and, seeing none, reaches up between the protrusions of bone to feel at her back. sure enough, they're there. she frowns. ]

Maybe ... Maybe all of it's part of the transformation. Maybe when the feathers are gone, the amplifier won't look like this anymore either.

[Ianthe plucked a feather free, her magic pulling it painlessly from the flesh, to show Alina what they looked like.]

It's possible. [Doubtful.] My magic can't differentiate between monster and not monster. They both feel the same to me. I wouldn't be able to tell.

[Except the timing felt off. Ianthe couldn't bring herself to burst this little bubble of hope, even though she probably should. Stupid fucking feelings.]

Yeah. That must be it, then.

[ she commits. nodding her head slowly. attaching herself to the idea. it's a little hint of salvation, a way for her to set aside her abject panic, her grief. even if it's temporary, even if it's a delusion. ]

I'm okay. [ she says finally. ] You can go find Illumination, if you need to.

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