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[princess_of_ida]

Three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile.



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[sunmon]

[ complicated how? different how? alina wants to ask, but ianthe is moving on, and it feels like an effort at changing the subject. ]

I'll be careful.
Or perhaps sleep elsewhere.

[princess_of_ida]

Part of me wants to offer you to crash here, but I can't provide any safety and I don't want you to see me like this.

Gilia's going to be here for a few days anyway. I kinda wish I hadn't promised her sanctuary back when I found out what the villagers did to her, so I can isolate until I turn back into a person. But it'd be mean to renege, and I just don't have it in me right now.

[sunmon]

It's that bad?
Just from how much power you used helping us find our way?

[princess_of_ida]

Yeah. I don't know how long I maintained the theorem. Hours? Days? Fuck if I know. But it felt like I was fighting the Void itself, and I found the bottom of what I thought was a bottomless well.

[sunmon]

Strange that using your power drains you like that.
I feel stronger when I use mine. Grisha grow sickly when we go without.

[princess_of_ida]

Normally it doesn't. Normally I have a huge reservoir that rapidly replenishes. Normally, I'm not having to claw my way through liminal space.

But it makes perfect sense to me. Your power is thalergetic - Life. Mine is thanergetic- Death. Necromancy takes a physical toll on the body, and I've never overtaxed myself like this before.

You know how fucking beautiful you are when you overextend yourself? Flip it to the opposite, and you'll get an idea where I'm at.

(cw: refs to body shaming a la ableism and disordered eating)

[sunmon]

You think I'm beautiful when I overextend myself?

[ alina doesn't, but she can take ianthe's word for it that she means how beautiful ianthe finds her at those times. it's a nice reminder. alina, however, will continue to only see some sickly stick from keramzin every time she looks in the mirror. it's been too ingrained in her mind by too many cruel remarks. ]

[princess_of_ida]

I think you're beautiful in general, but it is truly something else when you get going.

[Ianthe completely saw why Alina's monster had that glow now. It's a fucking lure, twisting her natural radiance. One wasn't supposed to look directly at the sun yet sometimes it was impossible to look away.]

So yeah, I'd like to not be this the next time you see me.

[sunmon]

You really think that would change my opinion?
It sounds like you could use someone to help you out. I don't mind.

[ and ianthe is one of the only people that alina doesn't feel anxious about seeing her right now, honestly, weird antler-bones and all. she knows that they're going to demand explanation. ]

cw: emaciation, avulsion

[princess_of_ida]

Sunshine, I'm an ugly, semi-flayed, necrotic sack of bones right now. Let me have my vanity.

Last time I was anything close to this, I hurt you. Give me a few days, then check on me.

[sunmon]

Alright.
A few days.

[ that's a promise. she's allowed to fuss in three (3) calendar days. ]

[princess_of_ida]

Thanks.