Had to... send him to Cesare. Made to many enemies, have to keep him safe even if - doesn't care. Hate being Queen.
[ mumbles. ]
He promised himself to me. Not marriage. Because he's spirit and can't. Sort of. I hope I don't turn into birds. I don't think I'd be good birds.
Was so happy Ianthe. So happy.
That is why. Knew I had to tell you all. Know you don't like it. None of you do. That you have to share. I won't do it. It's awful, everything they said. Everyone sounded so unhappy.
[Another long pause. Ianthe hadn't been lying when she said it had taken her a while to get to a place where all she wanted from Gilia was to be loved. And this? This was a lot easier to say, to mean, than it would have been a couple months back.]
Lia... I don't mind sharing, when something is mine to share. I don't own you, but you are mine. And you're Sweeney's. I'm okay with that.
[The problem had never been Sweeney. It had always been Cesare.]
I've never had anything that was just mine. I've shared my entire life, in some manner or another. And I suppose it's not fair to demand you only love me when I also love another.
[A triad dynamic was what Ianthe was most comfortable in, even if she didn't want to admit it.]
It's okay, Lia. I understand more than you think I do. Can I come hold you tonight?
Thought if it was my sister. If you β mmmmm β [ words, so hard. ] β laid with Elspeth. Be so angry. I would never speak to you again! Supposed to be my announcement! No one wanted me, they wanted Elspeth, that's what Godfinn told me. Never, ever, ever forgive it. You or Sweeney or - my hus - Ces β [ nope, not saying his name. ] β went to her bed. Not ever. Could pick annnnyone else. Annnnnnnnnnnnyone else. But not Elspeth. Never her.
[ She goes silent, because drunk, too drunk, to cope with talking about home, even a little, and all the things she never said.
Then she's crying (again), and jumping topics like only drunk people can, with no context and no sense. ]
I miss her so much, I am never going to see her again.
Godfinn was an asshole and he's dead. Let him stay dead; don't allow his spirit to linger within you. And you'll get to see your sister when you return home.
No, won't. Had to banish her. Had to execute her, oh Spirits, Ianthe β they said β and I couldn't β sent her away so they couldn't make me, make her...
[ But then the words click through her self absorbed, self pitying haze. ]
β I'm messy. Not pretty. Think I threw up. Let the goat in, it's sleeping on me.
Love you so much, Ia'the. No one called me pretty until you did. Makes me sooooooooo happy. Every time I just want to β cry or sing, I don't know. Both, I think.
[ She can't help it, she snort-laughs horribly loudly at that answer, and then vindictively offers: ]
They did! They did - 'suck'. [ the modern slang comes out stilted and wrong, but she tries it out anyway. ] One of them said - said my face was 'serviceable to get the job done if he had to' to make me feel better!
But he was five and sixty, and Elspeth told me because thought he was so awful β his other wife gossiped, said his β prick did not work n'more.
Now who can't get job done! No woman in m' family ever has less than fou' healthy babes. But he has to - give them to me first!
[Ianthe made her way to Gilia's house, Prospero lurking around in the treeline. She let herself inside and went to her drunken wife to clean her up, tuck her into bed, and hold her.]
[ The second she feels her close, she does not even open her eyes, or seem to awaken at all, simply burrows in close. Her arms twined around her, clinging to her side with the strained breathing of someone who had so simply cried herself to sleep. Exhausted and limp with the effort, yet holds so tightly, as if even now, she is afraid she will lose her too. ]
[Prospero was commanded to sit directly in front of the door to keep anyone who might come calling - for good or ill - away. Ianthe would stay as long as she was needed. Eventually she drifted off for a bit, but she was too paranoid to truly sleep in an unsecured location. But lyctors didn't really need sleep like Gilia did.]
no subject
Okay. Promise, will take care of it. Always.
no subject
Can I hold you tonight or has Sweeney already requested it?
no subject
[ mumbles. ]
He promised himself to me. Not marriage. Because he's spirit and can't. Sort of. I hope I don't turn into birds. I don't think I'd be good birds.
Was so happy Ianthe. So happy.
That is why. Knew I had to tell you all. Know you don't like it. None of you do. That you have to share. I won't do it. It's awful, everything they said. Everyone sounded so unhappy.
no subject
Lia... I don't mind sharing, when something is mine to share. I don't own you, but you are mine. And you're Sweeney's. I'm okay with that.
[The problem had never been Sweeney. It had always been Cesare.]
I've never had anything that was just mine. I've shared my entire life, in some manner or another. And I suppose it's not fair to demand you only love me when I also love another.
[A triad dynamic was what Ianthe was most comfortable in, even if she didn't want to admit it.]
It's okay, Lia. I understand more than you think I do. Can I come hold you tonight?
no subject
[ Her nose wrinkles. ]
Thought if it was my sister. If you β mmmmm β [ words, so hard. ] β laid with Elspeth. Be so angry. I would never speak to you again! Supposed to be my announcement! No one wanted me, they wanted Elspeth, that's what Godfinn told me. Never, ever, ever forgive it. You or Sweeney or - my hus - Ces β [ nope, not saying his name. ] β went to her bed. Not ever. Could pick annnnyone else. Annnnnnnnnnnnyone else. But not Elspeth. Never her.
[ She goes silent, because drunk, too drunk, to cope with talking about home, even a little, and all the things she never said.
Then she's crying (again), and jumping topics like only drunk people can, with no context and no sense. ]
I miss her so much, I am never going to see her again.
no subject
I'm coming over.
no subject
[ But then the words click through her self absorbed, self pitying haze. ]
β I'm messy. Not pretty. Think I threw up. Let the goat in, it's sleeping on me.
no subject
You'll see her again someday. Somehow.
And I don't care. Like any of that will turn me away. You're always pretty, even when you're being a sloppy drunk.
no subject
[ hiccup. ]
Love you so much, Ia'the. No one called me pretty until you did. Makes me sooooooooo happy. Every time I just want to β cry or sing, I don't know. Both, I think.
no subject
[Time to head over and clean Gilia up. It was only fair.]
cw: sex shaming?? body shaming, ageism?? pregnancy in discussion
They did! They did - 'suck'. [ the modern slang comes out stilted and wrong, but she tries it out anyway. ] One of them said - said my face was 'serviceable to get the job done if he had to' to make me feel better!
But he was five and sixty, and Elspeth told me because thought he was so awful β his other wife gossiped, said his β prick did not work n'more.
Now who can't get job done! No woman in m' family ever has less than fou' healthy babes. But he has to - give them to me first!
[ She peels in laughter, pleased with herself. ]
no subject
He wasn't worthy of your spit. You're better than all of them. You're beautiful, Lia.
no subject
[ That at least was happier than where she started. ]
Think I'm tired, now.
no subject
Then let the goat go and settle into bed. I'll be there soon.
no subject
[ She cracks in a yawn, her body finding the suggest a sensible one. Even if her heart reviled to do anything that wasn't punishment of herself.
But it was currently sodden in drink to muffle it, and she let the goat go to do as suggested, stumbling up the stairs to her too big bed. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject