IC Inbox

[princess_of_ida]

Three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile.



text/audio/video/passive aggressive notes

Comments

cw: suicidal ideation

[princess_of_ida]

[To die. To feel absolutely nothing for a bit. For Alina to walk through her door and apologize. To be loved.]

Bad poetry. Spin me something, sailor.

[rezni]

Bad poetry, [ Nikolai repeats, thoughtful. ] Let me think.

[ But Nikolai had been a sailor and he had been a soldier. He had collected a number of questionable fragments in the course of his travels. ]

Here's one, [ he tells her, before he recites: ]

The wife of Sea Captain O'Shea
Missed his dick while he was aweigh,
found a dildo of wood,
that was almost as good,
now she's happily pining away.

[princess_of_ida]

[That got a snort of amusement.]

Good one. Limericks are classic.

[rezni]

Does it help?

[ A kind of joke. A single limerick cannot possibly shift the enormity of her pain. ]

[princess_of_ida]

Made me laugh. That's something.

[Ianthe took another swig before words came bubbling out, like pus from a lanced abscess.]

How's it feel to win?

[rezni]

Win?

[ Questioning. Quiet. ]

[princess_of_ida]

Yeah. I lose. [Again and again and again...]

'Smeans you win.

[rezni]

You and I already agreed that approach was folly.

[ That their presence in Alina's life didn't require the banishment of the other.

His fingers draw through her hair, careful not to tug at any tangles. Doesn't shift their position, not yet. ]

I know something must have happened. But she didn't speak of it to me, and I can't imagine it's not something that's beyond repair.

[princess_of_ida]

She doesn't want me anymore. [If she ever did.] Flew too close to the sun, wings melted and fell down, down, down...

Don't matter what we agreed. Never mattered. Never fucking mattered. Tried so hard for nothing.

[rezni]

[ For a moment, Nikolai is quiet. They lean into each other. Ianthe's misery rattles between them. His hands maintain their gentle sweep through her hair, slow and careful of pulling.

Eventually, he murmurs: ]

Would you tell me what happened?

[princess_of_ida]

[Even drunk, Ianthe remembered the things she promised Alina. She couldn't say what happened without inadvertently giving Nikolai too much context. Alina might not want Ianthe anymore, but the necromancer still loved her. That hadn't turned her vindictive yet, so she shook her head.]

No. Between me and her.

[rezni]

[ And that is a line Nikolai won't cross, prying after to what Alina and Ianthe hold to be private.

He presses a kiss to the top of Ianthe's head. ]

It's not beyond repair, whatever it was. Unless you wish it to be.

[princess_of_ida]

[It was the kiss on top of her head that had Ianthe letting go of the bottle to bring that hand up across Nikolai to clutch his shirt. Wine spilled to soak into the furs as Ianthe choked down a sob. Even drunk, Ianthe didn't cry in front of others.]

Never.

[rezni]

[ As she curls in against him, Nikolai wraps his arms around her. Draws her in, holds her close. It's not quite graceful, but hopefully it is of some comfort to her. ]

We'll fix it, Ianthe. Trust me.