princess_of_ida | IC Inbox

[ Her eyes drop to the food in her hands, then up to Ianthe.

And if there is anything that says she is back to herself again it is in this: ]

After. Food and drink first. You'll have worn yourself thin, I know. I made it heavy with meat, to replenish you.

[ And gently sets the food down on the bedside table with the stubborn refusal until Ianthe was taken care of. ]

Edited 2024-01-28 03:45 (UTC)

[Ianthe had barely eaten in weeks. If Wesley hadn't brought her a lunch after her return, she might not have had anything other than the alcohol. Truthfully, the thought of food wasn't appealing to her but she knew this was important to Gilia.

She took the bowl.]

At least sit with me.

[Slowly, she started to eat.]

[ She does, sitting beside her, close - but not touching. Careful on her edges like a laid out map she had traced to not extend the borders of. ]

I am sorry. It is... it is not easy, right now. The thing... the thing that was Murphy....

[ She clears her throat. ]

It took... many hours for it to... change me. Being close is... hard. Right now.

I don't need apologies, Lia, but I accept them.

[She ate a few more bites.]

If you don't want to be touched, I won't. Just know that I welcome you home. Thank you for coming home. I'm sorry I locked you out.

[ She shakes her head. ]

It was the sensible thing to do, with... how I was behaving.

That doesn't make it any less painful. I was... afraid. Of it being the Void. I thought it was that for a while.

[She'd been wrong. She didn't like being wrong.

Ianthe pinched the bridge of her nose and slowly worked the hangover out of her system.]

I felt someone trying to breech the ward. Will you tell me what you intended on doing if you'd been able to get inside?

[ It's still not easy, admitting to any of the urges she had at the time, like something was crawling around inside of her skin. Itching and wrong and desperate to get out of her. ]

Ensuring you would serve our - his - it's - will.

[That got a hum to acknowledge that she heard Gilia. She didn't need more information than that.

What she did do was lift her bone hand and gesture toward Gilia's hair, where a certain bone bead was located.]

May I?

[ She almost doesn't want to, the token, little at it was, had been such a comfort when she had awoken to herself, that Ianthe had been thinking of her. No matter what else changed.

But she does not have a right to that, at present. Gently she fished out the strange form her veil, and began to work it free. ]

For what it is worth - I would not let you, Cesare or Sweeney be touched. I said it would be impossible for me to ignore, and would compromise my state.

[ The bead comes loose, and she drops it to Ianthe's outstretched hand. ]

[Ianthe transferred the bead to her flesh hand and rolled it around in her palm.]

I believe you. I don't feel betrayed. But I gave this to you under false pretenses. It's the only reason I requested it back.

[She looked down at it as it came to a rest.]

This is my bone. Taken from my body and shaped into this form. Because it is of me, I am able to track it. Necromantically.

In case I needed to find you. If you disappeared while...

[She sighed, closing her hand over the bead before bringing the hand to her lips. Ianthe then opened it between them, the bead resting right there.]

Now knowing what comes with it, it truly is yours if you wish. And it's okay if you don't want it; I'm very much aware that it was a violation to plant it on you. I just didn't want to deceive you about it, any longer.

[ So that was what it was?

Sensible, wasn't it? ]

If I could not convince you to our side, I was going to poison your wine with one I know kills painfully. I knew it would have incapacitated you for many hours, if not days.

[ She looked at the bead, and raised her fingers to take it back. ]

Not a bad plan.

[She decided not to yell Gilia that it wouldn't have really worked. As an animaphiliac, she could draw poisons out. She could sober up immediately if she wanted. She just didn't want to.]

I ended up taking myself out of the game for days anyway when I monstered.

[ Her stomach drops with dread. ]

... It was... it was not one of us - me? Was it? That caused it?

Nope. None of you.

[Her eyes involuntarily flickered briefly over to the stag painting in the wall.]

Then I just started drinking afterward.

[ Her eyes track, looking over her shoulder - bit quite understanding what that meant, to look back. ]

Tell me how I can help?

I don't think anything can help this. Not even the booze - I know this. [Nothing except Alina.] I just don't want to feel anything.

[And yet, she still felt albeit numbed because she can't get drunk enough without killing herself.]

You're home. That's what matters. [She took another bite of stew before setting it down.] Do you really want that bead?

... At least we have that in common. If I could cut every feel from my heart, I would.

[ Her laughter is not hers, it's dry, empty and flat, there is no mirth in it. ]

I do. [ She breathes out slowly. ] If something were to happen again... someone knowing where I am... it could have... it could have changed something.

[Ianthe was silent for a moment, trying to wrangle her thoughts through the slippery fog of her mind.]

I don't feel the... need to be able to track you. I can't say I understand how you feel, though I have my Void experience. But if it's fear of what may happen in the future that drives you to want that bead...

Don't borrow tomorrow's grief.

[ It was sensible advice, as far as it went. ]

... Maybe just for a little while then, so I know you're with me, when I feel...

[ Alone, afraid, so hateful of herself. ]

Alright. Whatever you need.

[Leaning back against the headboard, Ianthe lifted an arm, offering for Gilia to be held. She washed to hold her.]

Whatever you need to talk about, I'll listen. I'm with you now.

[ She braids the bead back in with quick fingers, securely tucking it away.

About to move towards her, but pauses just before she does. Instead opting to lean over the side of her bed, to go to her basket, for the parcel stacked on top. ]

I brought you something... I meant to give it to you before.... well, before... everything. We give gifts to celebrate growing older at mid-winter. So I made you something.

[It was perhaps for the best that Ianthe was still drunk. The sleep and food had forced her to recover enough that wasn't drunk enough (in her opinion) as the whispering voice of her sister slipped into her mind and the pain she didn't want to feel was gnawing at the base of her brain. But she wasn't sober, so she didn't catch the reality of Gilia's wording, that she was essentially talking about a birthday gift.]

For me? Okay.

[Don't tell her it's a birthday gift.]

Perhaps it will not be as wonderful as the Third House's finest seamstresses but...

[ She puts the item that was wrapped up in simple plain brown paper, in front of Ianthe as she scooted up the bed. Settling in beside her timidly for her current state.

When she opens it, there is a coat in there, as promised, to warm her against the worst of the winter nights and days ( if a little late now - thanks for nothing, flooding that made it impossible to work). A deep grey, and set against, in gold and purple silk threads that faintly shimmered is a pattern of bones and purple gem beads in the skulls, woven between folk patterns. ]

This is beautiful, Lia.

[Her fingers ran over the embroidery and the beading, taking in the quality. She couldn't currently think enough to compare it to anything from home, but was in awe. It was soft and looked warm and...]

Let me try it on.

[Getting out of bed, Ianthe stood up... and promptly ate shit as her head swam. The next moment she was a heap on the floor, clutching the coat to her. This was fine.]

Ianth-!

[ Thud, down she goes.

Gilia scrambles up, going to her.

She scoops her up, getting her hand under her knees and shoulders to lift her, her tentacles emerging briefly to lift her up. Perhaps not as graceful as Ianthe might have done it herself, but enough to get her back into that bed and not a second longer on the floor than she could help. ]

My love, you are still not well yet.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: suicide reference

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject