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[princess_of_ida]

Three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile.



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[seaboard]

[ She curled into her, tight and sharp, the wracking horrible sob still in her body, her fingers wrapped into her back and dragging down into her to hold her close as she could. ]

I love you, I love you so ardently.

[ It's the one centering thought in all her hurt, her frustration, her pain. ]

[princess_of_ida]

I know.

[Ianthe settled down with Gilia, holding tightly and stroking her hair.]

Now just breathe.

[seaboard]

[ She drapes against her, all her body feeling heavy and languid, exhausted and off kilter. Trying to do just that, just breathe, just keep breathing. ]

I am not made for this.

[princess_of_ida]

Made for what? Talk to me.

cw: self destructive ideation, self loathing, etc

[seaboard]

[ Burrowed into her, it all comes out for once, bleeding and ugly and selfish. ]

They should have put me in the earth beside my brother, it would have been kinder to us all.

[princess_of_ida]

Then I wouldn't have you. I'm glad they didn't.

[Fuck Godfinn. Fuck their mother for letting it happen. Fuck First Child Nikolai. Fuck them all.]

I wasn't made to rule either. I could have, but I never wanted to be the Crown Princess of Ida. I chose to serve. Yet here I am. Here you are.

[seaboard]

I am not worthy of you.

[ She cannot be, she knows she could never be. ]

You are strong, so, so strong and I am - [ Weak as wet sand, giving away at the gentlest brush of the tide. ] I do not know what I am.

[princess_of_ida]

You're mine. [Ianthe turned Gilia's face up to kiss away her tears.] And the only one who gets to decide if you're worthy of me is me.

Both you and Alina say the same thing, and you're both wrong.

[seaboard]

[ She manages the brief laughter, her eyes closed, wet lashes stuck together. ]

You seem drawn to us, my love, we must do something for you one day, so you know how much we both likely would be lost without you.

[princess_of_ida]

Wouldn't that be the day...

[Alina was so temperamental. Ianthe couldn't decide if she'd go for the idea, be offended by it, be jealous, or just be insecure about it. Probably that last one.]